This is written by my daughter Fleur who has five children under 9yrs and lives in the Queensland bush near Laidley. I think it’s worth sharing. Enjoy!
For the last two years, my family and I have lived in a rural setting on nearly 900acres of nature refuge.
Since the day we moved here, I have had grand plans of becoming a ‘self-sustaining’ homemaker – the type of woman who is up at dawn baking and makes her own cheese, soaps and cleaning products. Her home is always clean and smells of fresh lavender and apple pies. Her family is happy and free –spending time with each other, or simply curling up with a book under the Jacaranda by the dam. The veggie garden provides all the fruit and vegetables for her healthy family and she sews gorgeous creations to sell at the local markets along with fresh eggs and baked gingerbread.
Sadly, a year and a half on, I have planted and killed nearly two dozen hardy herbs, my lavender is brown, I have three chickens who lay a total of two eggs a day between them (I thought I had four chickens, but one turned out to be a Rooster), and the bread I made this morning had to be thrown out to the donkeys (it was so tough, the chickens had a go at it and walked away!).
However, I will continue to persist, and over these last couple of years I have indeed picked up a few ‘essential’ skills that every homemaker simply must know.
My greatest ‘must know skill’ I have taught myself is – through much trial and error - to make yogurt. I have always been an avid yogurt fan – greek, natural or flavoured, I don’t mind, I like them all. I noticed one day an ‘Easi-Yo’ yogurt maker in our local supermarket (in ‘town’ a half hour drive from our home). I bought it and began making my daily yogurt. I convinced my husband it was to save us some money (as the price of yogurt seems to go up and up), but really, I just wanted to feel ‘homely’- like I was ‘providing for my family’.
For a few weeks I was happy with my ‘Easi-Yo’, but then realised that I was actually spending quite a bit more money given the quantity I was consuming. I figured that people must have been making yogurt themselves before ‘Easi-Yo’ came along, so I did a bit of online research and came up with a few different recipes that I was eager to try. I even bought a ‘yogurt’ culture from the United States to guarantee my success! Sadly, my yogurt did not become yogurt, but rather turned into a sour sort of runny milk. It smelt and tasted bad.
Not to be deterred, I started to experiment using my knowledge gained from my ‘Easi-yo’, the recipes I found online, and my own stubbornness of not wanting my yogurt to get the better of me. Weeks later, I still had not found a perfect combination of temperature, time, ingredients and taste.
Starting to feel quite discouraged, I left my yogurt obsession for a couple of weeks after that, and went back to store-bought natural yogurt.
However, one day, I happened to have a dollop of yogurt left in a container, and an unopened long-life milk on the bench. I figured I’d give it another go, and with a bit of heat, a cup of milk powder (for extra creaminess and thickness), and my good old ‘Easi-yo’ container to regulate the temperature, six hours later, I discovered I had created my perfect homemade natural yogurt! Delicious!!
From this seemingly unimportant feat, I learnt a great deal about persistence, timing, research and having a belief in yourself that you can do anything (even when people are telling you that you should be wasting your time on some other type of worthwhile obsession!).
A few simple observations shows us that we seem to be living in a world that wants everything ‘Now!’. If we need an answer to a question, we want someone else to tell us. If we want a new item, we go out and buy it. If we want some delicious creamy yogurt, we run down to the shops and we grab it. We are moving so fast, and it is just so that we can move on to the next thing, and the next and the next.
Taking time to focus and experiment, change tactic and experiment again, we are able to learn patience, determination and pride in our own work and results. These sorts of skills are valuable for anyone - especially children who may already be used to getting and having everything their way instantaneously.
Patience, persistence and purpose - who knew a little pot of yogurt could teach so much?!
‘Never underestimate the healing power of touch‘
Anonymous
Touch is the first sense to develop in humans. It is our most intimate and powerful form of communication. Research has found that babies can die without touch. Even a casual touch from someone as they brush by can stimulate positive feelings.
All of our 3 daughters are married. Our youngest daughter married Mark last November ‘08. If you know Ashlynn, as some of you do, it won’t surprise you that she’s now half-way through Police Academy and loving it! She’s a confident, secure, lively young woman who knows what she wants in life and is taking action on moving towards her goals.
Monday night at our home is traditionally family dinner night- it gives us an opportunity to catch up with each other’s news. Usually Ashlynn is like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, full of stories and newly learned police tactics that she wants to demonstrate to us.
So last night was a bit of a surprise. She came straight to the kitchen and gave me the longest hug, holding on tightly. It reminded me of when she was little - nothing like Mummy hugs…except Daddy hugs and she spent most of the evening snuggled up to Pete, soaking up the warmth and security known since a little girl. As I watched her, it reminded me of the power of touch.
I’ve come to realise that hugs are not only comforting but energizing - it’s like having a two-way transfusion of energy. It is said that positive, nurturing touch can stimulate the release of endorphines, the body’s natural pain suppressors. A hug can put the smile back on the face of someone who’s been feeling lonely, it can say ‘I think you’re special”, or it can say “I’m here for you”.
Life without touch is hollow
Cuddles transmit love
They give warmth. And hope. And trust
The feelings flow back and forth.
A cuddle can make someone’s day.
It can even save a life.
Cuddle generously.
And often.” Patrick Lindsay ‘It’s Never Too Late..
So, here’s a hug from me to you.
How about passing it on, especially to someone who needs it.
Perhaps you need a hug - go ahead and ask for one!
And if you need more persuasion to have a huggy day, just to show you the power of Hugs, enjoy this video that’s had over 40,770,938 viewings
As the media informs us of all the unbelievable destruction caused by the intense bush fires in Victoria, I wondered what I could possibly write at a time such as this.
Having experienced our large shed disappear in a 15 mins during a bush fire in Tasmania 15 years ago, I have an extremely small inkling of the fear and sense of loss - absolutely nothing compared to what these people are dealing with right now.
And then the floods in Queensland and all the havoc they bring.
Australia is going through a time of grief and loss, fear and anxiety.
And so, as a coach, I thought it may be helpful to pass on some suggestions on how to cope with what’s happening in our country with these fires and floods.
For those of us not intimately connected with these disasters, our emotions can still be whirling around. We may wonder what we would do in such a situation. Or start to have concerns for friends and family who live in places that may be prone to flooding or bush fires.
Here are some tips:
Recognise that having these emotions is a normal reaction to an abnormal event and talk about how you feel with other people. Staying in contact with people, especially giving and receiving touch is very important.
Try to keep your imagination from dramatising events that haven’t actually happened to you or others. We do not know how we’d react in these situations. And unless we’ve actually experienced the event ourselves, we really don’t know what it would be like.
Keep a balanced viewing of TV and other media. Saturating your mind with constant visual images and distressing news will not be beneficial to your emotional state.
Do something to help, such as donating to the Red Cross. It can help to know that we’ve done our bit to help with the relief program.
And depending on your spiritual beliefs, pray. Reaching out to the holder of a power far greater than nature can be comforting.
As a Parent Coach, I’m also mindful of our children and how they are dealing with these events.
Michael Grose is a respected Parent Coach and, as I don’t believe in re-inventing the wheel, I’m passing on his recent newsletter, found below.
I hope this helps you to support your family through these emotional times.
Warm regards
Carolyn
Help your children make sense of natural disasters
By Michael Grose
The Queensland floods and the Victorian bushfires continue to wreak incredible havoc on so many people’s lives and will no doubt leave an indelible imprint on our collective psyches. These two natural disasters will be brought into our living rooms via the media over the coming days and weeks.
As adults we all want our children to live carefree lives and keep them from the pain and even horror of tragedies such as natural disasters. In reality we can’t do this.
So what is a parent, teacher, or other caring adult to do when the natural disasters fills the airwaves and the consciousness of society? Here are some ideas:
Reassure children that they are safe. The consistency of the images can be frightening for young children who don’t understand the notion of distance and have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fiction. Let them know that while this event is indeed happening it will not affect them directly.
Be available and ‘askable’. Let kids know that it is okay to talk about the unpleasant events. Listen to what they think and feel. By listening, you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn more about the support that they need. You do not need to explain more than they are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions.
Help children process what they see and hear, particularly through television. Children are good observers but can be poor interpreters of events that are out of their level of understanding. Sit with them. Ask them questions to ascertain their understanding.
Support children’s concerns for others. They may have genuine concerns for the suffering that will occur
and they may need an outlet for those concerns. It is heart-warming to see this empathy in children for the concerns of others.
Let them explore feelings beyond fear. Many children may feel sad or even angry with these events so let them express the full range of emotions. They may feel sadder for the loss of wildlife, than for loss of human life, which is impersonal for them.
Help children and young people find a legitimate course of action if they wish. Action is a great antidote to stress and anxiety so finding simple ways to help, including donating some pocket money can assist kids to cope and teaches them to contribute.
Avoid keeping the television on all the time. The visual nature of the media means that images are repeated over and over, which can be both distressing to some and desensitizing to others.
Be aware of your own actions. Children will take their cues from you and if they see you focusing on it in an unhealthy way then they will focus on it too. Let them know that it is happening but it should not dominate their lives.
Take action yourself. Children who know their parents, teachers, or other significant caregivers are working to make a difference feel hope. They feel safer and more positive about the future. So do something. It will make you feel more hopeful, too. And hope is one of the most valuable gifts we can give children and ourselves.
Children’s worlds can be affected in ways that we can’t even conceive of so adults need to be both sensitive to children’s needs and mindful of what they say and how they act in front of children.
In difficult times, it is worth remembering what adults and children need most are each other.
Michael Grose is one of Australia’s leading parenting educators. For more parenting information and resources visit www.parentingideas.com.au
Today is the first day of 2009 and it’s stinking hot here in Brisbane! I’m guessing the cinemas will be full of people escaping the heat and anywhere near water will be crowded with swimmers. I’m doing neither. The house is finally quiet as family and friends have driven to find some air-conditioning so I thought I’d spend a few minutes saying Happy New Year to you all.
A few days ago I went to see the movie ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. It is based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald inspired by Mark Twain’s quote ‘Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.’
Which caused me to question ‘Why do we have a problem with growing old?’ In our culture, we seem to have a distain for old age. Other cultures revere their elderly, acknowledging that, in general, their life has bought them experiences resulting in wisdom and insight that younger generations can benefit from. I like to think that as I grow older I too grow in wisdom that can be shared with others.
So, I’ve decided to approach 2009 inspired more by the following quote:
‘Often people attempt to live their lives backward. They try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so they will be happy. The way it works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.’
(Author: Margaret Young)
What about you? Will 2009 be a year for you when you learn who you really are? Not an easy New Year’s Resolution but a worthwhile one.
Will it be a year of taking the steps to uncover and discard the layers that hide the real you by healing the hurts and resolving issues?
Will it be a year of self-discovery that leads to living a life of purpose and fulfillment?
What changes do you want in your life? - they all start with change in yourself.
During 2008 I’ve been on an incredible journey of learning who I really am and I’m determined to continue this walk even further during 2009. If you want to walk this journey too but don’t want to travel alone, then I invite you to visit my web site and contact me.
“Life can only be understood backward; it must be lived forward’ (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - trailer)
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not…;
…a sense of humour to console him for what he is.”
Francis Bacon Philosopher, 1561 - 1626
Imagination, creativity and humour - what great topics for a blog! I don’t know about you, but with the world in the state it’s in right now with the economic downturn, I think some creativity and a good laugh are just what we need.
So today’s blog includes a podcast from the UK author and creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson. If you could also use some laughs while gaining insight into how he believes we’re educating our children out of creativity visit this link:
I came across this message while reading a new magazine my husband treated me to called ‘Mindfood’. I can recommend it if you’re after some informative and interesting reading.
About ten years ago, I studied about Learning Styles in USA which revolutionized my approach to teaching. It developed in me a keen interest in Personality Profiles. If you’ve had a Profile given to you, remember it’s just a part of the multi-faceted personality you are. Get as many of them as you can to gain some insight into why and how you approach life.
You may have learned that your dominant personality style is a risk-taker - or not. Some of us are really concerned about trying something new in case it goes wrong.
Sir Ken Robinson says that by the time we get to be adults, most of us have lost our imaginative, our creative capacity. We are frightened of being wrong. We start to feel as if mistakes are the worst thing we can make.
We grow out of creativity, or we get educated out of it.
“Kids will take a chance - if they don’t know, they’ll have a go. They aren’t frightened of being wrong. If you’re not prepared to be wrong you’ll never come up with anything original.” Sir Ken Robinson
At this time of writing, the USA has a new president - a black American. Just think; there was a time when Obama was sitting at a school desk being taught the same sort of lessons you and I have been taught. I wonder when he started to dare to imagine that he, a black American, could one day be President. I wonder if he ever had thoughts such as ‘Get real! Who do you think you are! Haven’t you noticed you’re black?”. What steps did he take to overcome these thoughts so that today he claims access to the White House?
Because I’m wondering, if Obama can vision something so big and it become reality, what can we envision to become real?
“Write the vision and make it plain…wait earnestly for it because it will surely come ”
Habakkuk 2:2
What creative visions do you have for your future? What steps do you need to take to claim your visions and make them reality? I encourage you write down your dreams, perhaps share them with us in the comment section, so that they become more than a thought.
I’m going to admit to you that I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat.
I get a few tingles of fear just thinking about parachute jumping. Even traveling too fast in a car along the motor way ends up with my hands tightly clenched in my lap. I’m not too good with speed or heights, as you might have guessed.
It’s not just speed or heights that can produce feelings of fear in people. What about saying ‘no’ to something instead of the usual ‘yes’? Or saying ‘yes’ to that opportunity instead of ‘no’? Or beginning that project that you’ve had in your heart for years and years but just haven’t had the courage to take the first step? There are always reasons why it’s safer to not jump.
‘Do the thing you are afraid to do and the death of fear is certain’ - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you ever found that when you make up your mind to take the plunge and actually do the thing that gives you butterflies in the stomach and sweaty palms, that it turns out to be easier than you imagined? And if it was a massive plunge to take, that the sheer exuberance of actually having done it was worth the energy it took?
Have a look at this video. Wonder if “Come back helicopter and get me! I want to go home!” passed through his mind. I’m guessing so.
Relax, you don’t have to snowboard down a mountain! But what thing have you been putting off because of fear, however small the butterflies? How about making a decision today to take a step towards doing that thing you’re afraid of.
It couldn’t possibly be as scary as snowboarding down a sheer mountain face!
Yesterday, I was chatting with a lady at the Post Office and I asked her what she did on the weekend. Her reply “Nothing” was corrected by her friend who asked “What did you buy?” “Oh yes, I went shopping and bought a new stereo unit” “and..”said the friend “And I went out to a restaurant for lunch with my husband” My reply was “That sounds like something to me.”
Which made me think again of how thoroughly spoilt we can be here in Australia. Now, I don’t want to sound like my mother who, when I was a small girl and wouldn’t eat my cold brussel sprouts and runny cabbage, would say “Carolyn, don’t be so ungrateful! Think of the starving children in Africa.” Well, I thought of them but it didn’t make my cabbage and brussel sprouts taste any better.
My husband and I have just gone through 7 years of financial difficulties. During those years, it was sometimes very difficult to remember that we lived in the Lucky Country. So, to remind myself, I bought a plaque to hang on the front porch. It is a bunch of grapes. Why a bunch of grapes? There’s a saying in the Bible which really spoke to me. It goes like this: “Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines.. yet I will rejoice in the Lord”. The bunch of grapes reminds me to rejoice regardless of circumstances. It really helped to look for the Silver Lining in situations. I learned to have an Attitude of Gratitude.
Perhaps life isn’t going the way you’d like it to. Perhaps you can’t see the fruit of your labour at the moment. I want to encourage you to walk through the day with an Attitude of Gratitude regardless. It does help to make each moment more pleasurable. What’s your ‘bunch of grapes’? - please leave your comment.
This video is one way to remind us all how lucky we are living here in Australia.
It’s taken me a few days to settle down after being at the ‘Mental Toolbox’ for 3 days. 200 people all making changes in themselves - wow!
Do you find after attending an inspiring seminar, that you want to apply the information you’ve learnt all at once? Trying to remember everything I’ve heard is the hard part, especially all the juicy gems I wanted to share with you! Hence this Blog.
So, here’s an excerpt from this month’s coaches’ newletter written by Paul Blackburn that got me thinking:
True satisfaction and fulfillment are more likely the result of building/doing/creating something bigger than yourself.
Therefore we need to go in search of the “thing” that will get you out of bed on the days that you otherwise would be tempted to stay in. Rarely have I seen that this “thing” turns out to be personal benefit in the form of money/acknowledgedment/toys etc.
During the Mental Toolbox seminar, we watched a YouTube video about a Dad who found something bigger than him, which did more that get him out of bed in the morning! I encourage you to watch this inspiring real life story.
This Dad wanted an abundant life for his son so much that he was willing to pay the price himself so that his child could live a life he wouldn’t otherwise have. That’s Love.
It’s made me ponder about what ‘gets me out of bed’ in the morning… what puts the “wow factor” in my life. Certainly being a Life Coach gives my life a “why” that’s bigger than myself… a sense of true satisfaction and fulfillment.
What inspired you about this video/story? What gets you out of bed that’s bigger than yourself? Let me know - a Blog really works well when people use it to share ideas with each other.