This is written by my daughter Fleur who has five children under 9yrs and lives in the Queensland bush near Laidley. I think it’s worth sharing. Enjoy!
For the last two years, my family and I have lived in a rural setting on nearly 900acres of nature refuge.
Since the day we moved here, I have had grand plans of becoming a ‘self-sustaining’ homemaker – the type of woman who is up at dawn baking and makes her own cheese, soaps and cleaning products. Her home is always clean and smells of fresh lavender and apple pies. Her family is happy and free –spending time with each other, or simply curling up with a book under the Jacaranda by the dam. The veggie garden provides all the fruit and vegetables for her healthy family and she sews gorgeous creations to sell at the local markets along with fresh eggs and baked gingerbread.
Sadly, a year and a half on, I have planted and killed nearly two dozen hardy herbs, my lavender is brown, I have three chickens who lay a total of two eggs a day between them (I thought I had four chickens, but one turned out to be a Rooster), and the bread I made this morning had to be thrown out to the donkeys (it was so tough, the chickens had a go at it and walked away!).
However, I will continue to persist, and over these last couple of years I have indeed picked up a few ‘essential’ skills that every homemaker simply must know.
My greatest ‘must know skill’ I have taught myself is – through much trial and error - to make yogurt. I have always been an avid yogurt fan – greek, natural or flavoured, I don’t mind, I like them all. I noticed one day an ‘Easi-Yo’ yogurt maker in our local supermarket (in ‘town’ a half hour drive from our home). I bought it and began making my daily yogurt. I convinced my husband it was to save us some money (as the price of yogurt seems to go up and up), but really, I just wanted to feel ‘homely’- like I was ‘providing for my family’.
For a few weeks I was happy with my ‘Easi-Yo’, but then realised that I was actually spending quite a bit more money given the quantity I was consuming. I figured that people must have been making yogurt themselves before ‘Easi-Yo’ came along, so I did a bit of online research and came up with a few different recipes that I was eager to try. I even bought a ‘yogurt’ culture from the United States to guarantee my success! Sadly, my yogurt did not become yogurt, but rather turned into a sour sort of runny milk. It smelt and tasted bad.
Not to be deterred, I started to experiment using my knowledge gained from my ‘Easi-yo’, the recipes I found online, and my own stubbornness of not wanting my yogurt to get the better of me. Weeks later, I still had not found a perfect combination of temperature, time, ingredients and taste.
Starting to feel quite discouraged, I left my yogurt obsession for a couple of weeks after that, and went back to store-bought natural yogurt.
However, one day, I happened to have a dollop of yogurt left in a container, and an unopened long-life milk on the bench. I figured I’d give it another go, and with a bit of heat, a cup of milk powder (for extra creaminess and thickness), and my good old ‘Easi-yo’ container to regulate the temperature, six hours later, I discovered I had created my perfect homemade natural yogurt! Delicious!!
From this seemingly unimportant feat, I learnt a great deal about persistence, timing, research and having a belief in yourself that you can do anything (even when people are telling you that you should be wasting your time on some other type of worthwhile obsession!).
A few simple observations shows us that we seem to be living in a world that wants everything ‘Now!’. If we need an answer to a question, we want someone else to tell us. If we want a new item, we go out and buy it. If we want some delicious creamy yogurt, we run down to the shops and we grab it. We are moving so fast, and it is just so that we can move on to the next thing, and the next and the next.
Taking time to focus and experiment, change tactic and experiment again, we are able to learn patience, determination and pride in our own work and results. These sorts of skills are valuable for anyone - especially children who may already be used to getting and having everything their way instantaneously.
Patience, persistence and purpose - who knew a little pot of yogurt could teach so much?!
As a Life Coach, I have the privilege of being with people as they make changes in their life.
It is becoming more and more apparent that it’s the little actions we take that have the potential for greatest change.
As an example, I’d like tell you the story of our daughter Clair’s growing business.
If you visit this link, at the bottom of the page you’ll see our gorgeous middle daughter Clair. She’s 23yrs and her full time work (along with her husband Prav) is being the Children’s Pastor of one of the largest churches in Australia. She runs a dynamic children’s church that has over 350 children from toddlers to tweens.
And on the side, she runs her Hire an Umbrella business. The story of how this came about is a wonderful example of small actions leading to something big.
Two years ago she and Prav were preparing to get married. She wanted some umbrellas in case it rained on the day. Now, most people would probably have gone and found the cheapest umbrellas that would last the day and have bought them. Instead, Clair decided to register a business name and buy them at wholesale price.
After the wedding, she was left with about 30 white umbrellas. What would you have done with these? Perhaps given them away (still unused) as presents, given them to a charity, stored them in a cupboard for a very wet picnic day? Not Clair, she decided to take another small action and with her registered business name set up a website offering these umbrellas for hire in Sydney….
…except that orders started to come in from Melbourne and Brisbane.
So, she bought some more umbrellas, black and white; organised some friends in Melbourne and Brisbane including her mum to arrange delivery for a share of the profit and suddenly she had a business in three states!
Now the orders started to come in thick and fast, so she bought heaps more, including some clear bubble umbrellas and bright pink ones for brides who like something different. With a little help from her Dad, she got ranked on Google #1 for terms like “hire an umbrella” and “umbrella hire”.
And now she is looking for someone to manage this business in Sydney as she’s missing out on orders due to working full-time as a Pastor!
Talk about small actions reaping enormous rewards! I think Prav is already imagining his retirement life in a few years time
This video says all the above in its message. It’s well worth a few minutes of your time to watch.
I hope today you are encouraged to take some 1degree actions that have the unseen potential of making massive change in your life.
If you have a story to tell about how this has already happened to you, please leave a comment so others are inspired.
‘Never underestimate the healing power of touch‘
Anonymous
Touch is the first sense to develop in humans. It is our most intimate and powerful form of communication. Research has found that babies can die without touch. Even a casual touch from someone as they brush by can stimulate positive feelings.
All of our 3 daughters are married. Our youngest daughter married Mark last November ‘08. If you know Ashlynn, as some of you do, it won’t surprise you that she’s now half-way through Police Academy and loving it! She’s a confident, secure, lively young woman who knows what she wants in life and is taking action on moving towards her goals.
Monday night at our home is traditionally family dinner night- it gives us an opportunity to catch up with each other’s news. Usually Ashlynn is like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh, full of stories and newly learned police tactics that she wants to demonstrate to us.
So last night was a bit of a surprise. She came straight to the kitchen and gave me the longest hug, holding on tightly. It reminded me of when she was little - nothing like Mummy hugs…except Daddy hugs and she spent most of the evening snuggled up to Pete, soaking up the warmth and security known since a little girl. As I watched her, it reminded me of the power of touch.
I’ve come to realise that hugs are not only comforting but energizing - it’s like having a two-way transfusion of energy. It is said that positive, nurturing touch can stimulate the release of endorphines, the body’s natural pain suppressors. A hug can put the smile back on the face of someone who’s been feeling lonely, it can say ‘I think you’re special”, or it can say “I’m here for you”.
Life without touch is hollow
Cuddles transmit love
They give warmth. And hope. And trust
The feelings flow back and forth.
A cuddle can make someone’s day.
It can even save a life.
Cuddle generously.
And often.” Patrick Lindsay ‘It’s Never Too Late..
So, here’s a hug from me to you.
How about passing it on, especially to someone who needs it.
Perhaps you need a hug - go ahead and ask for one!
And if you need more persuasion to have a huggy day, just to show you the power of Hugs, enjoy this video that’s had over 40,770,938 viewings
As the media informs us of all the unbelievable destruction caused by the intense bush fires in Victoria, I wondered what I could possibly write at a time such as this.
Having experienced our large shed disappear in a 15 mins during a bush fire in Tasmania 15 years ago, I have an extremely small inkling of the fear and sense of loss - absolutely nothing compared to what these people are dealing with right now.
And then the floods in Queensland and all the havoc they bring.
Australia is going through a time of grief and loss, fear and anxiety.
And so, as a coach, I thought it may be helpful to pass on some suggestions on how to cope with what’s happening in our country with these fires and floods.
For those of us not intimately connected with these disasters, our emotions can still be whirling around. We may wonder what we would do in such a situation. Or start to have concerns for friends and family who live in places that may be prone to flooding or bush fires.
Here are some tips:
Recognise that having these emotions is a normal reaction to an abnormal event and talk about how you feel with other people. Staying in contact with people, especially giving and receiving touch is very important.
Try to keep your imagination from dramatising events that haven’t actually happened to you or others. We do not know how we’d react in these situations. And unless we’ve actually experienced the event ourselves, we really don’t know what it would be like.
Keep a balanced viewing of TV and other media. Saturating your mind with constant visual images and distressing news will not be beneficial to your emotional state.
Do something to help, such as donating to the Red Cross. It can help to know that we’ve done our bit to help with the relief program.
And depending on your spiritual beliefs, pray. Reaching out to the holder of a power far greater than nature can be comforting.
As a Parent Coach, I’m also mindful of our children and how they are dealing with these events.
Michael Grose is a respected Parent Coach and, as I don’t believe in re-inventing the wheel, I’m passing on his recent newsletter, found below.
I hope this helps you to support your family through these emotional times.
Warm regards
Carolyn
Help your children make sense of natural disasters
By Michael Grose
The Queensland floods and the Victorian bushfires continue to wreak incredible havoc on so many people’s lives and will no doubt leave an indelible imprint on our collective psyches. These two natural disasters will be brought into our living rooms via the media over the coming days and weeks.
As adults we all want our children to live carefree lives and keep them from the pain and even horror of tragedies such as natural disasters. In reality we can’t do this.
So what is a parent, teacher, or other caring adult to do when the natural disasters fills the airwaves and the consciousness of society? Here are some ideas:
Reassure children that they are safe. The consistency of the images can be frightening for young children who don’t understand the notion of distance and have difficulty distinguishing between reality and fiction. Let them know that while this event is indeed happening it will not affect them directly.
Be available and ‘askable’. Let kids know that it is okay to talk about the unpleasant events. Listen to what they think and feel. By listening, you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn more about the support that they need. You do not need to explain more than they are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions.
Help children process what they see and hear, particularly through television. Children are good observers but can be poor interpreters of events that are out of their level of understanding. Sit with them. Ask them questions to ascertain their understanding.
Support children’s concerns for others. They may have genuine concerns for the suffering that will occur
and they may need an outlet for those concerns. It is heart-warming to see this empathy in children for the concerns of others.
Let them explore feelings beyond fear. Many children may feel sad or even angry with these events so let them express the full range of emotions. They may feel sadder for the loss of wildlife, than for loss of human life, which is impersonal for them.
Help children and young people find a legitimate course of action if they wish. Action is a great antidote to stress and anxiety so finding simple ways to help, including donating some pocket money can assist kids to cope and teaches them to contribute.
Avoid keeping the television on all the time. The visual nature of the media means that images are repeated over and over, which can be both distressing to some and desensitizing to others.
Be aware of your own actions. Children will take their cues from you and if they see you focusing on it in an unhealthy way then they will focus on it too. Let them know that it is happening but it should not dominate their lives.
Take action yourself. Children who know their parents, teachers, or other significant caregivers are working to make a difference feel hope. They feel safer and more positive about the future. So do something. It will make you feel more hopeful, too. And hope is one of the most valuable gifts we can give children and ourselves.
Children’s worlds can be affected in ways that we can’t even conceive of so adults need to be both sensitive to children’s needs and mindful of what they say and how they act in front of children.
In difficult times, it is worth remembering what adults and children need most are each other.
Michael Grose is one of Australia’s leading parenting educators. For more parenting information and resources visit www.parentingideas.com.au
‘The quote: ‘Without a vision the people perish’ makes me think of the perished rubber band I found a couple of days ago. It had lost its colour, had completely lost its flexibility and elasticity, and was totally useless. I threw it away.
During January, I’ve met a few people with a vision like this rubber band. Their answer to ‘What plans do you have for 2009?’ is answered with “Oh, I don’t know. Probably just the same as last year. We’ll just wait and see what happens.” A perished vision for life.
Knowing about something, agreeing with that knowledge is one thing. Taking action on that knowledge is often quite another!
And when it comes to thinking about and writing up my vision for 2009 I have to admit I’ve been a little slow off the mark. I know the benefits of goal setting but doing it?
So when Peter, my husband, suggested that we make an event of goal setting for 2009 by going away for the weekend to the village of Montville, I eagerly jumped at the idea.
We agreed together that the focus of the weekend would be to nut out goals etc but the immediate rewards would be dinner at Poets, window shopping in the quaint shops - maybe a buy or two :), walks and relaxing in the cottage.
It was a great idea and by the end of Sunday, we both had our beliefs, values, goals and mission statements written down.
So, here’s a little video of our weekend away.
Perhaps it will entice you to do something similar if you also have a resistance to writing up your goals. It doesn’t have to be costly - perhaps go on a picnic, visit the beach, a day trip to a beautiful place. Make an event of it and enjoy!
If you go to a movie and find it really entertaining, do you tell your friends about it? Or what about a restaurant with tasty food at great prices? Or a holiday destination? or a sale with great bargains? Most of us see that we’re doing others a favour if we put them onto something worthwhile. And that’s what I want to offer to you today - something worthwhile.
I can emphatically say, that I’m not a seminar/conference junkie. You know, one of those people that will travel to any seminar that looks interesting, sometimes giving up days and weekends to attend.
The thing I found about most of the seminars I attended was that they were usually extremely motivating at the time, with me making plans and commitments to myself about the changes I was going to make from then on. Only to find that a couple of weeks after , if not days, I had difficulty remembering exactly what it was that I’d learned and got excited about! Have you ever felt that way too?
So, when I say that I recommend a seminar, believe me it has to be good - no, better than good - fantastic!
And Mental Toolbox is my most favourite of all seminars.
The first day I went to the Brisbane Mental Toolbox, nearly a year ago, I was a reluctant attendee. Bought along by my husband, Peter, I was determined to not get involved, nor sucked in with ’special offers’ and all the ’stuff’ that comes with seminars and conferences.
Second day, I had to admit I was looking forward to going. Still reticent about getting ‘too involved’, I could feel myself warming towards the facilitor, Paul Blackburn, and having to admit that I was enjoying myself.
Third day, I actually changed the seat I was sitting in. I would still only do the activities with Peter but I was, dare I admit it, involved and loving it.
And then I decided to train as a Life Coach and if I tried to count the changes in my life since then, it would be impossible!
What will you get from attending a Mental Toolbox seminar? In the words of Paul Blackburn
“Over the course of the three days I will teach you EVERYTHING you need to know about:
how your mind works,
why it does the things that frustrate you,
how to change it into your most reliable and productive asset,
where, when, why & how to ‘reprogram’ it and
what to do to keep it running at peak efficiency for the rest of your life. “
Mental Toolbox is full of information and learning activites. It’s fun and motivational.
If you only go to one seminar during 2009, I encourage you to make it the Mental Toolbox seminar. For more information visit http://www.thementaltoolbox.com/
Brisbane Feb 27th - Mar 1st
Sydney Mar 6th - Mar 8th
Melbourne Apr 24th - Apr 26th
Perth May 8th - May 10th
And the good news is, I can get you a reduced price of $197 on your ticket (normally $1,750). Just email me and I’ll send you details of how to purchase your ticket at this discounted price. carolyn@livingsuccess.com.au
Of course, I’m going to be there. So, here’s looking forward to seeing you there too!
Today is the first day of 2009 and it’s stinking hot here in Brisbane! I’m guessing the cinemas will be full of people escaping the heat and anywhere near water will be crowded with swimmers. I’m doing neither. The house is finally quiet as family and friends have driven to find some air-conditioning so I thought I’d spend a few minutes saying Happy New Year to you all.
A few days ago I went to see the movie ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’. It is based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald inspired by Mark Twain’s quote ‘Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.’
Which caused me to question ‘Why do we have a problem with growing old?’ In our culture, we seem to have a distain for old age. Other cultures revere their elderly, acknowledging that, in general, their life has bought them experiences resulting in wisdom and insight that younger generations can benefit from. I like to think that as I grow older I too grow in wisdom that can be shared with others.
So, I’ve decided to approach 2009 inspired more by the following quote:
‘Often people attempt to live their lives backward. They try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want so they will be happy. The way it works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.’
(Author: Margaret Young)
What about you? Will 2009 be a year for you when you learn who you really are? Not an easy New Year’s Resolution but a worthwhile one.
Will it be a year of taking the steps to uncover and discard the layers that hide the real you by healing the hurts and resolving issues?
Will it be a year of self-discovery that leads to living a life of purpose and fulfillment?
What changes do you want in your life? - they all start with change in yourself.
During 2008 I’ve been on an incredible journey of learning who I really am and I’m determined to continue this walk even further during 2009. If you want to walk this journey too but don’t want to travel alone, then I invite you to visit my web site and contact me.
“Life can only be understood backward; it must be lived forward’ (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - trailer)
“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not…;
…a sense of humour to console him for what he is.”
Francis Bacon Philosopher, 1561 - 1626
Imagination, creativity and humour - what great topics for a blog! I don’t know about you, but with the world in the state it’s in right now with the economic downturn, I think some creativity and a good laugh are just what we need.
So today’s blog includes a podcast from the UK author and creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson. If you could also use some laughs while gaining insight into how he believes we’re educating our children out of creativity visit this link:
I came across this message while reading a new magazine my husband treated me to called ‘Mindfood’. I can recommend it if you’re after some informative and interesting reading.
About ten years ago, I studied about Learning Styles in USA which revolutionized my approach to teaching. It developed in me a keen interest in Personality Profiles. If you’ve had a Profile given to you, remember it’s just a part of the multi-faceted personality you are. Get as many of them as you can to gain some insight into why and how you approach life.
You may have learned that your dominant personality style is a risk-taker - or not. Some of us are really concerned about trying something new in case it goes wrong.
Sir Ken Robinson says that by the time we get to be adults, most of us have lost our imaginative, our creative capacity. We are frightened of being wrong. We start to feel as if mistakes are the worst thing we can make.
We grow out of creativity, or we get educated out of it.
“Kids will take a chance - if they don’t know, they’ll have a go. They aren’t frightened of being wrong. If you’re not prepared to be wrong you’ll never come up with anything original.” Sir Ken Robinson
At this time of writing, the USA has a new president - a black American. Just think; there was a time when Obama was sitting at a school desk being taught the same sort of lessons you and I have been taught. I wonder when he started to dare to imagine that he, a black American, could one day be President. I wonder if he ever had thoughts such as ‘Get real! Who do you think you are! Haven’t you noticed you’re black?”. What steps did he take to overcome these thoughts so that today he claims access to the White House?
Because I’m wondering, if Obama can vision something so big and it become reality, what can we envision to become real?
“Write the vision and make it plain…wait earnestly for it because it will surely come ”
Habakkuk 2:2
What creative visions do you have for your future? What steps do you need to take to claim your visions and make them reality? I encourage you write down your dreams, perhaps share them with us in the comment section, so that they become more than a thought.
‘You have two choices. You can choose to adopt and and adapt a positive, powerful attitude or you can choose to do nothing (yes, ‘not choosing’ is also a choice). If you choose to do nothing, you get the default results of doing nothing. The default results are, unhappiness, misery, discontent, depression, discouragement and more unfavorable outcomes. If you choose to do something and change your attitude, then there are favorable results that go with that.
Nonetheless, you have a choice’
by Michael Murphy www.positiveattitudes.com
I used to read statements like the above and think “It’s alright for you to say that but you have evidently never been in the place I’m in right now! Easier said than done to just choose my attitude!’
And not surprisingly, I got the default results of doing nothing. I have been through depression, unhappiness, frustration, discontent and the rest… Then one day, I read a book.
The book was ‘Out of the Blue… delight comes into our lives‘ by Mark Victor Hansen (coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Soul). It is dedicated to living with an attitude of Delight, to see the Sliver Linings in life no matter how dark the storm clouds may be.
And not surprisingly, I got the favorable results that go with making the choice to do something and change my attitude. Life didn’t suddenly become full of sunshine, but I was more aware of the moments when rays of sunshine broke into my daily living. And I was grateful for them.
‘Attitude is what determines whether or not you’re going to achieve your goals and live the life that you’ve always imagine. Attitude will determine whether you’ll be a whiner or winner in your life.’
by Michael Murphy www.positiveattitudes.com
For those of you on the coaching journey, the subject of goals comes up quite frequently. You either love ‘em or hate ‘em but really, we live with goals every day - they just might not be very challenging ones. Like watching a favourite TV program, going to a footy match, meeting friends for dinner. It takes an attitude of ‘I can do this’ to take action on goals that might be more challenging. Like exercising three times a week when you don’t enjoy exercising, arranging a special mum + teenage kids afternoon when the relationship is already crumbling, starting a new business when the last one was unsuccessful, or perhaps changing the negative thought patterns that circle like squawking crows in the head.
‘A positive attitude can engulf negativity much like light overcomes darkness. Go into a dark room. Turn on the light. The light immediately dispels the darkness.’
by Michael Murphy www.positiveattitudes.com
Be warned, today’s video is slow. It won’t stimulate your senses with quick moving screens but if you set aside about 5 mins of quiet time (which you deserve) there are truths in it that are worth contemplating.
‘Progress can only be made when you are moving forward in your life. A
positive attitude fuels that forward movement and gets you to your
desired destination.’
by Michael Murphy www.positiveattitudes.com
Do you want to move forward in your life? Perhaps the first step will be a new attitude. Do you have a story to share? Please leave a comment.
to arrange delivery for a share of the profit and suddenly she had a business in three states!